The 7 Surefire Signs Your Relationship Is Not Doing So Great (You’ll Be Shocked)
Sometimes we start out thinking we are attracting the right person, but it all ends very badly and even in some cases we get into abusive relationships. This type of a problem can be very difficult to spot at the beginning and is generally not as obvious as the relationship between Kathy Bates and James Caan in Misery based on the Stephen King novel.
It virtually NEVER starts like this
How are you going to know you are in a toxic relationship? What are the warning signs? Let’s take a look at what can be viewed as some of the possible indicators toward a relationship that’s abusive, put your guard up and make sure you pay close attention, this might save you some heartache and God forbid some physical harm in the long run.
Too Good To Be True
This is still true today!
If out on a first date and the other person starts declaring their love for you; it’s time to run and run quick and far. Yes, that’s an obvious sign of something being wrong with that individual; however there are many more subtle signs of a potentially harmful relationship.
Maybe you find yourself having gone on a few dates with a person and things are going very nicely, but they seem to always want to be with you or know what you are doing, red lights need to be going off in your head right about now.
They are most likely trying to control you and who you have contact with, which at first can be viewed as puppy love and sweet, will quickly develop into annoying and obnoxious. You need to set some parameters with this person and stick to them, if that does not work, it might be time to seek your love connection somewhere else.
She’s just a tad jealous.
In so many of our lives, both professional and personal, we come in contact and have to interact with people of the opposite sex. In the case of jealousy being a problem, the other person in your relationship might ask you to stop seeing your friends who are of their same gender. Warning, warning, this is a really bad sign they are severely insecure with themselves.
Unfortunately this can also come on slow and simply grow over time. The other person might ask you to stop connecting with a particular friend online, because ‘you never see them anyway’ or they don’t share the same views, but this will eventually grow out of control. Be watchful if your partner begins to do this to you, again it’s an attempt to control you and that can’t be good.
Keeping Track of Your Schedule
Control scream and throws huge fits about it
Have you ever had someone you are dating calling or contacting your friends and family when they can’t get hold of you? If so, that was a sure sign of a relationship you want to get out of. Having to know where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with all of the time is not a good sign at all.
I’m not saying that if its bad weather out and your partner asks you to let them know when you made it to work to call so they know you are safe is bad, but a constant need to know everything all the time is another play at controlling you, the only person who should control you is you.
Wanting to Change You
Are YOU one of these?
Unfortunately the old cliche is that the woman will be able to change the man in a relationship as if she is getting raw material and has to create a masterpiece out of it. The reality is this can work both ways in a relationship and isn’t really good for either party.
Making suggestions either way to let you know how you might look or feel your best, or suggesting you try something new is not an abusive approach, so be mindful of the situation and how it is presented to you. However, demanding you change your looks, friends, hair, clothes or any other part of your life in a mean, spiteful, and degrading way is not acceptable and a sure sign of abuse.
It’s always your fault.
Have you ever been blamed for someone else’s actions and look around for the puppet strings? Yeah, I know ridiculous right? How are you supposed to control what another person does, they take actions of their own free will, but this is a huge play at control and sympathy, two main ingredients to abuse.
If you find yourself apologizing for actions the other took, it’s time to rethink your situation. The usual ploy is something like ‘you made me go through your stuff, if you were a better partner I wouldn’t be forced to do this’. Sound familiar, if so get out of there fast.
This is classic…
This is classic.
In any relationship that has lasted a decent amount of time, you learn some of the bad habits or witness some embarrassing situations for your mate. Using these things against them to get what you want is one of the lowest and simplest forms of blackmail, and it’s very damaging.
In general the ploy is either ‘if you love me you will do this, but if not I will tell all your friends ___’ you can fill in the blank here, but it’s never nice for either person. If you happen to want to keep the relationship going with this person you will need to seek counselling, but if not get out fast.
You just know something is going on’ ALL the time.
The simplest and most obvious form of abuse is of a physical nature. If your partner is throwing things around, hitting you, slapping you, pinching you and none of this is in anyway in good fun, it’s time to leave.
Having some of these warning signs to keep yourself away from an abusive person, is really important to helping you find the right mate and not someone who will try and control you. You have to be happy with your choice in a mate, so heed these warnings to help you along the way.