Communication in a relationship
Communication is the vital nutrient in any relationship. To talk with our partner, to express what we feel, think or do, is one of the keys to success in love maters. But this is only half the equation. Equally or even harder is to listen and understand your partner. To talk without fighting gives us the chance to know us better. Talking and communicating as a couple will succeed in fostering links and ties of unity and affection. Communication in a relationship is the basic tool to overcome the challenges presented to it. For communication to be effective in couples, not just an argument, we must be willing to listen and understand our partner. It should not only be us defending our own beliefs and views, which would simply lead to an inaccessible and inflexible type of communication.
Mistakes in couple communication
Impose our criteria to the other person. This is a rigid and inflexible behavior where we impose our beliefs and we assume that it is the way it should be.
To express defects and complaints, about the partner, frequently and in extremist ways.
Believe that our point of view is always better than our partners.
Not to show interest in the observations, beliefs or views of our partners.
Demonstrate that you are always right.
Not to let the partner finish what they are saying because you feel that you know what they are about to say.
Get upset if your partners opinion differs from yours.
Another error in the communication between partners is to always say that your partner is right even when we are sure they are not or when we think a little different.
Not to know how to listen.
It is very easy to fall into the mistake of having a conversation with our partner in a defensive critic mode.
How to correctly communicate with your partner? A good way to establish and maintain a good communication in the relationship is to talk as we would like to be talked to. Think before you open your mouth and come out with a word that could hurt. We can change words like “must” for “I would like that” or “you must” instead of “could you?” Always think that communication is a possible solution to a problem. It is good for you to express yourself fully and say how you feel at the time of the problem, but remember that once the heat of the moment has passed a conversation must be established, without going to defensive mode, without the aim to keep fighting. Rather, to forgive or ask forgiveness and get back on track to, together, find the best solution. By communicating with your partner avoid focusing only on negative aspects such as complaints, errors or defects. Always seek the positive. The fact that there is a catastrophic problem is not a reason to make room for the negativeness, something good must come out of it. It is important to learn to value the good of someone instead of seeing only the bad.
Patience and tolerance are keys to communication between partners.
Be tolerant . Sometimes it is difficult to understand the comments of others. But to maintain a relationship, tolerance must take action on the matter. Being tolerant does not mean you have to put down your beliefs, it means, understanding the other’s individuality. Listen! Pay attention to comments that your partner does , remember that if your partner says something, he/she has a good reason for doing so, there is a background reason for him/her express his/her feelings. Before you get upset about a comment, objectively meditate it and then discuss it. We are not saying that you will have to end up liking the comment, but considering it for a few seconds, to understand it better, could avoid you bigger a problem with your partner.
Keys to couple communication Some basic tips and recommendations to make the communication between partners always helpful and with good results:
Both should express their feelings at all times. Be clear when talking about what they feel or think.
Never assume your partner knows how you feel or think.
When talking, seek to balance the ideas of both, Brainstorm!
When you need to talk to your partner about some, no so good, aspect of him/her, begin by reminding him/her the virtues and the remarkable things that characterize them.
Pay special attention to what your partner express, this way you show that you value him/her.
Do not get angry… Listen!
Do not talk about many problems at once. Go one by one, so it will be easier to communicate and resolve them.
Find the best time and place to communicate with your partner. Avoid crowded places, dinners with family or friends, or after a tiring day at work.
Visualize that it will be all better if you find a solution.
Never forget: Respect at all times and places. Maintaining the respect and care for the feelings of the couple is vital to good communication as a couple.
Remember: Good communication between partners is when you get to listen with respect and not to impose your self.
Important! Keep in mind that; to have a conversation about the couple there does not need to exist a conflict. Use every time you have to talk to him/her. Express your feelings . Make him/her feel special with your words. Make him/her feel like a confidant and friend.