Taking On-Line Dating into the Off-Line World
When you are dating online, you do not have to bother about appearances. But when you are dating in person, it is important to keep up appearances.
When you are dating online, you have a lot of things to your advantage.
For example, the other person does not really see you and you do not really have to bother about appearances. You can devote your entire energy towards sounding intelligent and witty.
But when you are actually seated in front of a person, there are a thousand things that you have to pay attention to.
There are many people who believe that it is not really important to keep up appearances.
They feel that it is more important to be oneself.
It sounds good enough. But on your first date at least you certainly have to keep up appearances. The other person should not feel ashamed to be seen around with you and so you should try as hard as possible to avoid that faux pas.
Let us start with your physical appearance. While I did mention earlier that you do not have to be dressed to kill, it is very important that you have to appear well groomed. Take special care about things like nails, hair, and teeth.
Check for bad breath too because that indeed is the worst turn off.
What you wear should not be loud and attract the wrong kind of attention.
Choose something that you are comfortable in and at the same time that looks good on you.
It is best to avoid garish colors.
You should smell good of course but don’t over do it. We certainly don’t want you to remain in the other person’s memory as just one strong smell.
Men, please take care to go in for masculine scents like musk, or smells from nature.
The Secret is Charm
All the things that have been said so far are about how you can create a favorable impression. There is something that is equally or even more important than that, and that is to make the other person feel comfortable.
Help the other person relax
Anyway, you have been chatting for quite some time so you do know a great deal about each other. The best thing you can do is to ease the tension and break the ice. Sometimes the ice gets so thick that you can literally feel it.
Break it up by cracking a joke or two
But the joke should be spontaneous and in keeping with the situation or else it will fall flat. Do not rehearse a joke because a rehearsed joke sounds… well… rehearsed.
The key word here is charm. Use all the charm that you can muster. Try to be as considerate and as thoughtful as possible. Do not dominate the conversation but try to get the other person talking. (We talked about this earlier.)
People generally love to talk about themselves so try to get the other person talking by asking about the person’s work.
Show interest in whatever the other person says
Try to be a good conversationalist. A good conversationalist is not a person who talks well, but is one who listens well as well.
So try to be a good listener. And while you are listening try not to get distracted by something else or the other person might feel that you are losing interest in what he or she is saying.
Then comes the question, “What do you do if you find that the other person is dominating the conversation?”
Well, in that case listen patiently for a minute or two and then give a subtle sign like a raised eyebrow or a smile through the corner of your mouth. If the other person is intelligent enough, he or she will get the cue. If not, then take your chance, you might have to listen to this person for the rest of your life.